Are You in Love or Just Infatuated? 5 Easy Steps to Find Out

Ajita sharma
6 min readMay 20, 2024

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Understanding the difference between love and infatuation can be challenging, especially when emotions are running high. While both feelings can be intense, knowing how to distinguish between the two is essential for understanding relationships and genuine connections.

Let’s talk about the five straightforward steps and a quick Quiz to help you determine whether your feelings are rooted in deep love or are merely an infatuation.

Examine the Intensity of Your Feelings

When determining whether your feelings are rooted in love or temporary infatuation, it’s important to examine the intensity of your emotions. Love is a deep emotional connection and a sincere care for the other person. On the other hand, infatuation tends to be more superficial, based on idealized perceptions, and often lacks the depth of genuine love.

So the first step in distinguishing love from infatuation is to examine the depth of your emotional connection. Love develops gradually, creating a strong bond based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared experiences. In contrast, infatuation feels more — powerful yet fleeting, often based on surface-level interactions and an idealized image of the other person.

Spend some time thinking about your conversations. Are they shallow and centered around physical attraction, or do you find yourselves diving into heartfelt discussions about your lives, dreams, and fears?

What’s Your Perspective on the Relationship?

Your outlook on the relationship can provide insights into the nature of your feelings. Love typically involves a desire for a long-term commitment and a willingness to support and grow with the other person. Conversely, infatuation often revolves around short-lived experiences and immediate gratification.

Ask yourself if you envision a future with the person and have a genuine desire for a long-term commitment. Love often includes a willingness to support and grow with the person over time.

Do you see yourself growing old with this person, or are your thoughts limited to the excitement of the present moment?

Reflect on whether your feelings are focused on immediate gratification and short-term experiences. Infatuation usually lacks the long-term perspective and commitment associated with genuine love, it often lives in the euphoria of the present without much thought for what comes next.

Your Perception of the Other Person

Find out how realistically you perceive the other person because love means accepting the person’s flaws and imperfections, which shows a genuine understanding and acceptance of who they are. Infatuation, on the other hand, tends to idealize the individual and overlook potential issues, often leading to a distorted perception of reality.

Recognize whether you accept both the positive and negative aspects of the person. A balanced acceptance of their strengths and weaknesses indicates a more grounded perspective which is a sign of love, reflecting a deeper understanding and connection.

Analyze Your Personal Growth

True love acts as a catalyst for personal growth. It inspires you to become a better version of yourself, not out of a desire to impress, but as a natural evolution of being with someone who supports and understands you. Infatuation might motivate changes in yourself too, but these are often superficial or short-lived, driven by the desire to fit into the idealized mold of what you believe the other person wants.

Consider whether your relationship has made you more confident, resilient, and open, or if it’s mostly about maintaining an image.

Your Emotional State

Love is generally associated with stable emotions, reflecting a sense of security and comfort in the relationship. In contrast, infatuation can lead to intense emotional highs and lows, often resulting in a rollercoaster of emotions and instability.

Take a moment and think about whether your emotions remain stable and consistent when you’re with the person. Love gives a sense of emotional stability and security, while infatuation may lead to erratic emotional responses and heightened mood fluctuations.

Does your happiness with this person feel calm and consistent, or does it fluctuate wildly based on their attention?

Do You Understand Them?

Love involves empathy and a desire to understand the other person’s feelings and perspective. If you actively listen to their concerns and try to understand their emotions, it indicates a caring and empathetic connection typical of love.

Love and infatuation are complex emotions, and it’s possible to experience a mix of both. The distinction can be subtle but crucial.

Self-Assessment Quiz: Are You in Love or Infatuated?

Take this quick quiz to help clarify your feelings:

1. Do you think about the person’s happiness as much as your own?

- A. Always

- B. Sometimes

- C. Rarely

2. How long have you felt this way about the person?

- A. Several months or years

- B. A few weeks

- C. Just a few days

3. How do you feel when you’re not with the person?

- A. Secure and content

- B. Anxious and restless

- C. Completely indifferent

4. Are you aware of the person’s flaws and imperfections?

- A. Yes, and I accept them

- B. Not really

- C. I think they’re perfect

5. Do you see a future with this person?

- A. Absolutely

- B. Maybe

- C. Not sure

What Your Quiz Answers Say?

- Mostly A’s: You’re likely in love. Your feelings are stable and grounded in genuine care and empathy.

- Mostly B’s: You might be experiencing a mix of love and infatuation. Reflect on your emotions to gain clarity.

- Mostly C’s: Your feelings might be more aligned with infatuation. Consider taking time to understand your emotions better.

The Importance of Honesty with Yourself

Being honest with yourself about your feelings is necessary in realising whether you are truly in love or simply infatuated. Take a step back and understand your emotions without bias or external influence. Recognizing and acknowledging the true nature of your feelings is important if you want to understand your relationships.

Analyze your thoughts and feelings, confronting any underlying motivations or insecurities that might be influencing your perception of love and infatuation.

Recognize and acknowledge any vulnerabilities and insecurities contributing to your emotional state. By addressing these factors, you can gain a more honest understanding of your feelings.

The Distinction Between Love and Infatuation

Understanding the difference between love and infatuation is required to understand the complex nature of relationships. While the line between the two can be subtle, recognizing the distinct characteristics of each emotion can help us understand our feelings.

Self-discovery can help in understanding your emotions and relationships. By introspecting and self-reflection, you can understand your feelings.

Follow Your Heart Wisely

Understanding whether you are experiencing love or infatuation requires honest self-reflection and a clear view of your relationship. By following the above mentioned steps, you can better understand your feelings and the nature of your emotional connection. Remember, both love and infatuation have their places in our lives, but knowing which one you’re experiencing will help you make decisions that can affect your long-term happiness and emotional well-being. Dive deep into these reflections and let them guide you to the truth in your heart.

By Ajita Sharma

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Ajita sharma
Ajita sharma

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